The Apprentice Series 8, Episode 4: Only Fools and Gift Horses

Ever wished your suitcase looked like something from a David Lynch film? No, us neither.

What have Del Boy and the Apprentice candidates got in common?

Well, nothing, as it happens: because whereas Del Boy could have made a fortune selling broken tat to idiots, his Apprentice counterparts couldn’t sell half price cracked ice and miles and miles of carpet tiles if their lives (or rather careers) depended on it.

The Syndicate Series Blog: Episode Three

"What would Morgan Freeman have to say about this?"

Remember Bob (Timothy Spall)?

He’s the shop manager who was knocked out in the fake robbery. We saw him for about five minutes in the first episode, and he’s been in a hospital bed ever since.

While he was in getting his head stitched up, he was unexpectedly diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme (an aggressive form of brain cancer) with a worrying prognosis.

Some might say Jamie did him a favour smacking him over the head with that whisky bottle. Jamie would say that. Jamie’s an idiot.

5 Things We’ve Learned From Game of Thrones

Twinning is everything

1. It doesn’t matter how young or related to each other you are, sexytime is never off the agenda.

Unless you’re sworn to the Night’s Watch, of course: which as jobs go is only slightly less appealing than working in Poundland for free.

 

 

"By 'eck, it's grim up North"

2. In THE NORTH, everyone talks like they just emerged from a gritty British drama about brass bands and mining.

Apart from the women, who sound like they just missed out on the lead role in 2006 Helen Mirren vehicle The Queen. (Helen: you might want to watch out for direwolves).

Our Food

"Bet you don't know where this came from!" "Er, the sea, Giles?" "Damn you".

By Matthew Laidlow

The BBC loves food and cookery programmes so much you’d be forgiven for thinking the licence fee was being underwritten by Tesco.

When one series finishes, another comes hurtling off the production line. And they’re usually pretty good, not to mention addictive. The majority of the population are no doubt filling their time illegally streaming ‘Masterchef: American Samoa’ while they wait for Gregg Wallace and his sidekick John Torode to yell at a bunch of contestants who haven’t peeled a carrot properly.

Catch Up With…Homeland

"Hey, drop your pants big guy- I'm feeling a bit 'mood disordery', if you know what I mean."

It’s been a mere eight weeks since Homeland first arrived on our screens. And what an eight weeks it has been.

Much has changed for CIA agent Carrie Mathison (Claire Danes) in this seemingly short time. For one, she has gone from being so busy in the first episode she didn’t even have time to clean her vagina properly, to being able to simply disappear to a cabin in the woods for a couple of days to get drunk and have extremely unwise sex with US marine and suspected double agent Nicholas Brody (Damian Lewis).

Land of the Lost Wolves

"Guys! I found one!"

By Jen Lavery

Land of the Lost Wolves is a two-part documentary series focusing on attempts to track a pioneering wolf pack.

Before European settlers arrived in the United States and introduced everything moving to the shouty end of the shotgun, wolves reigned supreme, with territories spanning North America. The ‘Lookout’ pack is returning to the Cascade Mountains in Washington State from Canada, where the species retreated after over a million were killed by their new neighbours.