The Apprentice Series 8, Episode 4: Only Fools and Gift Horses

Ever wished your suitcase looked like something from a David Lynch film? No, us neither.

What have Del Boy and the Apprentice candidates got in common?

Well, nothing, as it happens: because whereas Del Boy could have made a fortune selling broken tat to idiots, his Apprentice counterparts couldn’t sell half price cracked ice and miles and miles of carpet tiles if their lives (or rather careers) depended on it. Read more of this post

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Horizon: Out of Control

Zombies on a diet- look away now.

Originally written for TV Pixie. 

Is your unconscious mind actually in control of your actions? Is it your hindbrain’s fault you crave that cake, despite the fact you already look like a late-stage Elvis? And how, exactly, do you learn to knit?

That was the basic premise of last night’s intriguing episode of Horizon.

In attempting to show that our sentient mind is the monkey rather than the organ grinder we travelled to New York, an Arizonan golf course, Oxford University(twice) and University College London: although a large amount of time was spent watching people’s feet sticking out of an MRI scanner.  Read more of this post

Hairy Bikers’ Bakeation

'Pace yourself dad, we've got 8 weeks to go yet.'

David and Si, TV’s favourite Keith Floyd/Two Fat Ladies mash up, are back. And they’ve decided that what’s been missing from the world of TV food is biking and baking combined.

Baking, on vacation. Get it?

‘Trust me,’ promises one of the bikers,  ‘you’re gonna see a lot of yeast on this journey.’

Indeed.

But we’re not just talking bread here. Don’t be fooled. This is ‘cakes, pies, pastries. Almost anything that can be cooked in an oven.’ Almost anything: an important distinction. Probably not reheating last night’s takeaway pizza. Or the fraught defrosting of a bottle of wine you left in the freezer compartment to chill for a few minutes several hours ago. Read more of this post

Dirk Gently

What have Arthur Conan Doyle and Douglas Adams got in common?

Well, they’re both authors- that’s a given. And both, very very sadly, are no longer with us. Well, it’s very very sad in the case of Douglas Adams who passed away at the relatively young age of 49 in 2001.

Not so much for Conan Doyle, who would be 153 years old if he were still kicking around today.

I think we can all agree he had a good run. Read more of this post

Have You Been Watching….Let’s Dance for Sport Relief?

So many Joneses, so little time...wait, sorry, so MUCH time.

Don’t be fooled by the title. This is less dancing for charity, more the life and times of minor celebrities. It’s Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush, via Children in Need and This Is Your Life…with a little bit of Strictly at the start.

Five acts, individuals or inexplicable duos (Olly Murs and Scott Mills with special guest star The Hoff, anyone?) perform dance routines to various pop hits, each approximately four minutes in length. So around half an hour total, allowing time for a quick out of breath debrief. And yet the show is an astonishing 80 minutes long. Read more of this post

Prisoners’ Wives Series Blog: Episode 5

Fran & Paul Miller. Britain's best hope for the Conjugal Olympics 2012

It’s fair to say last week’s seven year old drug mules and out of date confectionary put a lot of people off life as a PWAG. But never fear, this week is a full blown recruitment campaign.

These girls are having fun! Look, there’s Gemma, laughing it up playing maracas for her school choir. Fran’s back at her best, having top banter with her dad and obnoxious kids. Lou’s been released on conditional bail and gets to house share with Harriet, staying up late to sit in bed together and gossip. And Harriet’s just so excited to talk to someone who isn’t a dog she’s got the beef mincer out to celebrate.

What a lovely week all round. Read more of this post

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