The Apprentice Series 8, Episode 4: Only Fools and Gift Horses

Ever wished your suitcase looked like something from a David Lynch film? No, us neither.

What have Del Boy and the Apprentice candidates got in common?

Well, nothing, as it happens: because whereas Del Boy could have made a fortune selling broken tat to idiots, his Apprentice counterparts couldn’t sell half price cracked ice and miles and miles of carpet tiles if their lives (or rather careers) depended on it. Read more of this post

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5 Things We’ve Learned From Game of Thrones

Twinning is everything

1. It doesn’t matter how young or related to each other you are, sexytime is never off the agenda.

Unless you’re sworn to the Night’s Watch, of course: which as jobs go is only slightly less appealing than working in Poundland for free.

 

 

"By 'eck, it's grim up North"

2. In THE NORTH, everyone talks like they just emerged from a gritty British drama about brass bands and mining.

Apart from the women, who sound like they just missed out on the lead role in 2006 Helen Mirren vehicle The Queen. (Helen: you might want to watch out for direwolves).

Read more of this post

Our Food

"Bet you don't know where this came from!" "Er, the sea, Giles?" "Damn you".

By Matthew Laidlow

The BBC loves food and cookery programmes so much you’d be forgiven for thinking the licence fee was being underwritten by Tesco.

When one series finishes, another comes hurtling off the production line. And they’re usually pretty good, not to mention addictive. The majority of the population are no doubt filling their time illegally streaming ‘Masterchef: American Samoa’ while they wait for Gregg Wallace and his sidekick John Torode to yell at a bunch of contestants who haven’t peeled a carrot properly. Read more of this post

Land of the Lost Wolves

"Guys! I found one!"

By Jen Lavery

Land of the Lost Wolves is a two-part documentary series focusing on attempts to track a pioneering wolf pack.

Before European settlers arrived in the United States and introduced everything moving to the shouty end of the shotgun, wolves reigned supreme, with territories spanning North America. The ‘Lookout’ pack is returning to the Cascade Mountains in Washington State from Canada, where the species retreated after over a million were killed by their new neighbours. Read more of this post

The Apprentice Series 8, Episode 3: Outsauced

Jane attempts her first ever smile. And fails.

Where would we be without table sauce? We’ve been using it for thousands of years: the Romans even made one from pickled, rotten fish guts that makes Marmite look positively palatable in comparison.

However, from the panicked behaviour of the candidates throughout this week’s condiment-making task you’d have been forgiven for thinking they’d never heard of relishes, mustards and chutneys before. This was odd, given the enlightening dockside lecture about the history of the spice trade they’d been treated to at the initial briefing: Read more of this post

The Apprentice Series 8, Episode 2: Bathtime Blues for Team Sterling

Maria snoozes her way to failure.

Originally written for The Huffington Post

This week, the Apprentice candidates had to design a ‘useful’ household product then pitch it to two well known retailers.

It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But bear in mind that these are people who couldn’t find their rear ends with both hands, a sat nav and a detailed guide to human anatomy. It was always going to go wrong.

When you think of a household product just waiting to be invented, most people (ie me) would come up with a robotic wine waiter linked by Wi-Fi to an intelligent glass that notified it when your drink was almost empty. Or possibly a small personal helicopter to transport you to the kitchen. Read more of this post

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