American Horror Story Series Blog – Series 1 Finale – Afterbirth

"If you don't eat your brimstone, you can't have any fire"

If you haven’t been watching it (and to be fair, if you’ve followed this series blog you didn’t really need to) all you need to know about American Horror Story was that the final scene of the first season featured the Antichrist  as a toddler, covered in blood having just butchered his nanny and being gently chastised for his crime by his grandmother.

If that sounds interesting you should watch it. If it doesn’t you should run far far away and watch programmes that don’t involve attractive women eating whole brains.

Perhaps surprisingly then,  the rest of this finale felt a little small. It covered a lot of ground, but did so in a rather subdued way. For example, in the space of the first ten minutes Ben Harmon got bumped off by the  vengeance-filled  ghost of his mistress Hayden.

Not long afterwards, Constance nicked the baby Antichrist and proceeded to raise it as her own. The Harmon family were united as ghosts in the Murder House and seemed pretty chuffed with it. A handsome Hispanic family then moved into the Murder House, but the Harmons scared them away by killing each other in front of them so that the more evil ghosts in the house didn’t murder them. Which was nice.

The Harmon story closed with them celebrating Christmas (or possibly The Nightmare Before Christmas) in the Murder House happy as can be, with the more malevolent ghosts such as Tate looking on angrily. Constance raised her Antichrist baby and was over the moon about it. At least, that’s what she told her hairdresser.

By and large everyone got a happy ending. Sure the Harmon family were all ghosts but they seemed a damn sight happier that way. Hell, at least they don’t have to pay taxes, leave the house, work, eat, go to the toilet, read The Metro or do any of the 1001 other awful things you’re compelled to do when you’re alive.

There is the little matter of the Antichrist about to grow into a man, but what the worst he could do? A little bit of Armageddon never hurt anyone. When I was a lad we’d get Armageddon three times a day and we’d ask for more. And we had to walk a thousand miles a day with no shoes on…etc.

And that was pretty much it. Because that story is now done, in a typically ballsy move the show’s producers have announced the next season will be an entirely different American Horror Story, with an entirely new locale and cast of characters.  While this sadly means we’ll never get to see Dylan McDermott simultaneously weep and masturbate again, in the balance of things it seems like a damn good idea.

American Horror Story hasn’t been good, but it’s usually been interesting and at times even enjoyable. But nothing bleeds interest faster than going over the same ground again and again, so an all new Murder House, perhaps even a Murder Prison or a Murder Church, seems like a grand idea.

Incidentally if you’re a metal-head looking to form a band, you can have Murder Church as a band name for free. You’re welcome.

Retroactively I would say that decision to tell a new story next year has probably bumped up the whole show a few notches in my estimation. All too many great shows – I’m looking at you The Simpsons and Buffy- kept going beyond the point they were artistically viable because they were so lucrative, so a show that is willing to tell a story (even a bloody stupid one) to the end and then get out is a welcome change.

And at the end of the day, it did have Jessica Lange, a.k.a. glorious glorious Jessica Lange, who made the entire thing pretty damn enjoyable even at its stupidest.

So farewell then Murder House, we had some good times. Maybe next season you’ll come back as a Murder Ship. That would be great.


American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode One
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Two
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Three
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Four
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Five
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Six
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Seven
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Eight
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Nine
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episodes Ten and Eleven


About Ian Dunn
I love avocados, WH Auden and dinosaurs but I don't like effort.

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