American Horror Story Series Blog – Episode 9 – Spooky Little Girl

It’s a hard life being Ben Harmon.

No sooner do you lock your pregnant wife away in a madhouse than three hot female ghosts desperately try to have sex with you.

Clearly all lady spooks really want is ghoulish coitus with the world’s worst therapist.

But although Ben’s ghostly maid, his ghostly mistress and ghostly Mena Suvari really pull out all the stops to seduce him, none of them actually manage it.  Though obviously- as this show has absolutely no restraint- we get to see him fantasizing about having sex with each of them.

This American Horror Story after all: if there isn’t something monstrous or sexual (ideally a monster having sexual sex) on screen, it’s a failure.

First up is the ghostly two-faced maid who continues to try and seduce Ben even though she’s made it very clear she hates him.  However Ben Harmon manages to resist, even when she tries to entice him using ghostly Mena Suvari as bait in a not-at-all-gratuitous lesbian flytrap.

Ghostly Mena Suvari, it turns out, is actually the Black Dahlia. Yes, that Black Dahlia: the famous unsolved LA murder and a film that I refuse to watch because it stars Josh Hartnett, a man whose eyes are far too small from him to be an actor (in any rational world).

It turns out that the Black Dahlia is a ghost because she went to the murder house in 1947 to get some dental work done by Jeremy from Sports Night. And he raped, murdered and dismembered her.

Oh Jeremy from Sports Night, you scamp! I knew Natalie was too good for you (you should go and buy Sports Night on DVD, by the way, it’s pretty great. Not a lot of ghost sex, I’ll grant you. But still pretty great).

Nice as it is to see Jeremy from Sports Night (a.k.a Joshua Malina) again, the whole spectral seduction/Black Dahlia subplot is pointless unless you really like seeing Mena Suvari acting like a complete idiot. Ground, which I think we can agree, she has covered fairly well in the past.

Far more relevant to the ongoing plot are the actions of the third attractive ghost trying to woo Ben Harmon: his dead college student mistress Hayden.

Surprisingly- given that up to this point he’s shown the self control of a baboon whose eaten it’s own body weight in fermented fruit, he rejects her too.

Terribly hurt by this, Hayden makes the mistake of seducing Constance’s toyboy/dog walker Travis. Not only does she seduce him, in fact, but she ends up killing him.

This was a rather huge mistake on her part because Constance had a masterplan all figured out. Realizing that Vivienne Harmon’s Antichrist baby was sired by her ghostly son,  she’s hatched a diabolical plan to steal the devil child, marry Travis and play happy satanic families.

She won’t be happy that her plan hasn’t come together the way she wanted. That’s great for us, because seeing Jessica Lange lose her shit makes for great TV. And just that prospect is enough to make me look forward to the next episode more than any other this season.

Weird ‘Ryan Murphy Hates Pregnancy’ moment of the week.

Vivenne’s twins have different fathers, apparently this is technically possible, but it’s still weird. Even leaving aside the fact one of them is the Antichrist.

Awesome Constance moment of the week.

So many. But her response to her furious lover raising his hand to her takes some beating. “The last man who thought he could strike me came to a very unpleasant end,” she hisses. “And he was a man.”

Genuine Fright of the Week

There was some unpleasantly bloody surgery, but a rather sedate week on this front.

——————————————————————————————————–

American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode One
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Two
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Three
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Four
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Five
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Six
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Seven
American Horror Story Series Blog: Episode Eight

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About Ian Dunn
I love avocados, WH Auden and dinosaurs but I don't like effort.

2 Responses to American Horror Story Series Blog – Episode 9 – Spooky Little Girl

  1. Pingback: American Horror Story Series Blog: Episodes Ten and Eleven « Tellysquawks

  2. Pingback: American Horror Story Series Blog – Series 1 Finale – Afterbirth « Tellysquawks

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