Catch Up With….Big Brother


Anton: A Bad Egg

One of the primary purposes of Big Brother over the years has been to foist truly terrible people into the spotlight of very minor celebrity.

To give Channel Five their due they’ve come up with a bit of doozy in Anton Murphy.

Hideously arrogant, ineptly manipulative and just an all round bad egg, Anton has rapidly emerged as the villain of the piece.

Privately educated while still claiming the love of the streets, apparently he’s not in the house to win but rather to ‘revolutionise the game’.

To this end he’s schemed, plotted and generally just been a two faced twazzock in pursuit of a goal that’s essentially completely ridiculous.

‘Revolutionise’ a pointless reality TV show? From the inside? For free? WHY? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT?

Fair enough if you want to go and win a hundred grand. That makes sense. We all need a hundred grand: particularly us poor Tellysquawkers (glances pointedly at tip jar).

Or even if you go on Big Brother just for the heck of it: at least you get free food and shelter, not to be sniffed at in this economy. But to go in with some idiotic master plan to change the game is just bloody stupid.

Anton’s revolutionary shenanigans came to a head last week when Big Brother allowed housemates to discuss nominations.

He and his sidekick, the Igor-esque Adem, quickly got on the case attempting to mobilize support to get the objects of their disaffection (grumpy love dwarf Aaron and his boozily unstable paramour Faye) up for eviction.

His scheming worked- to a degree- and Aaron and Faye were nominated. But so were the self proclaimed, The Hangover-inspired ‘wolfpack’ of Anton, Adem and Jay.

As an aside, the Hangover is a  funny movie with some seriously talented folk in it. Zack Gilfanous is a very funny man, Ed Helms is a very funny man and Bradley Cooper is…well…er….someone with very blue eyes.

Unfortunatley, the film has had an absolutely cancerous cultural legacy, primarily witnessed in the fact that the words ‘wolf pack’- previously only applied to noble groupings  handsome wolves- have been appropriated by bog standard laddish idiots everywhere. It’s a nasty insult to the wolf community that I for one, do not care for.

Anyway, wolves aside, the worst thing about Anton is that he does, on some level, know better.

He’s not without intelligence and you can occasionally see a glimpse of self awareness behind his oddly toad-like eyes. However it only lasts a second before the walls of ego clamp down and he goes back to being a malicious cockbadger.

Also, it’s been hard not to embrace a certain schadenfreude as his hate campaign against Aaron has exploded in his face forcing him to battle self doubt from a moping position beneath his duvet.

The relationship between the two men (and I use that term loosely) has become incredibly poisonous. Also, next to Anton, Aaron seems like a charming combination of Buddha, Stephen Fry and Michael Caine: despite the fact he’s not particularly pleasant himself.

Anyway the public (or at least the small portion of them who are still watching) felt the same way, and saved Aaron and Faye before deciding to dump Adem over the reptilian Anton: though he survived by the barest of margins.

Anton- arrogant sod that he is- was shocked and appalled by the fact the eviction crowd were rapturously booing his name in a Lord-of-the-Flies frenzy of hostility.

In fairness, he did see actually seem shaken and started talking about how he needed to ‘change his ways’. Hmm.

Now I’m a generous soul. I’m very taken with the concept of redemption and I think pretty much anyone can change for the better. However, if Anton doesn’t go back to being a model of malice and folly in two days I’ll eat my hat, my boots and my very large duffle coat.

Some leopards are just stuck with the spots.

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About Ian Dunn
I love avocados, WH Auden and dinosaurs but I don't like effort.

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