Candy Bar Girls: Final Liveblog!

Can you believe it’s the final episode of Candy Bar Girls? I’m so sad. I’ve no idea what I’ll do with myself at 10pm next week. Or 11pm. Or 9pm. Or whenever the heck this series was actually on: the time slot varied more wildly than the government’s current stance on policing issues (that’s right people: it’s not all jokes about hats- I’m also capable of cutting edge political commentary).

Tonight, Candy Bar Girls has been bumped an hour later not by a timely Amy Winehouse documentary in response to an unexpected and tragic piece of news, as happened last week, but by a programme called ‘Tree Man’, about a man who- yes, you guessed it- looks like a tree. It seems Channel 5 have decided to prioritise the key 18-34 bark covered demographic over the needs of their lesbian audience. Tsk: don’t they care about us at all? I don’t know, first they cancel Xena, now this.

As it’s the end of the series I’ve dressed up as Shabby to mark the occasion. But not any old version of Shabby, oh no: In homage to the newest social network to appear on the scene I’ve come as ShabbyPlus. I’m wearing not one but four bowler hats balanced on my head and so much eyeliner I look like a terminally ill panda. Also, whenever I’m not typing, rest assured I’ll be poking everyone else in the room with a stick, doing a funny dance and screaming “LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” at the top of my voice. And weeping.

As ever, I’ll be updating constantly from 11pm so hit refresh to see the latest updates and leave your thoughts, musings and expressions of grief at the fact this roller coaster ride of televisual excellence will soon be over in the box below.

See you soon!
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About Hilary Wardle
Hilary is a freelance journalist and copywriter who writes for a wide range of websites, magazines and newspapers, including Buzzfeed, MSN, The Poke, Chortle, the Guardian and the Independent. She specialises in arts and entertainment, comedy, video games and viral content. Contact her at

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