Give Pee A Chance

What do you think of when someone says ‘John Lennon’? Musical genius? Unnecessary nudity? Very small sunglasses?

Well, all that’s about to change. From now on, you’re going to think ‘he used to do number twos in a rather genteel willow patterned porcelain toilet’, possibly whilst singing ‘Give Pee A Chance’ and imagining what it would be like to live in a yellow submarine.

Yellow submarine.

Yellow submarine.

And what’s more, said toilet (from Lennon’s Tittenhurst Park home) could belong to you! Yes, you, as it’s being auctioned next Saturday at the 33rd annual Beatles Convention in Liverpool with a guide price of between £750-1000.

Ok, a grand might sound a bit steep for an old loo, but just think: John Lennon sat on it. With his BUM. Your special place could be where his special place once was! You could have some kind of spiritual shared buttock experience. Who knows: you might even find a hallowed pube clinging to the underside and use it to bring Lennon back.

Provided, of course, you also go to the gene-splicing and cloning equipment auction straight afterwards.

They’re also going to be auctioning some rare solo albums and a harmonica and stuff, which is daft. What have albums and musical instruments got to do with famous toilet-sitter-onner John Lennon, eh? Tsk.

Oh, wait, hang on…

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About Hilary Wardle
Hilary is a freelance journalist and copywriter who writes for a wide range of websites, magazines and newspapers, including Buzzfeed, MSN, The Poke, Chortle, the Guardian and the Independent. She specialises in arts and entertainment, comedy, video games and viral content. Contact her at Hilary3@gmail.com.

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