Doctor Moff

I have to say, I’m having mixed reactions to the new, Steven Moffat-tastic series of Timey-Docco WooWho. What? That’s the new name for the series? Didn’t anybody tell you?

Yes. In a quest to make his mark, the Moffinator (as his wife calls him) has changed quite a few elements of the Davis-era programme. The logo, for one thing. Gone is the flaming, elliptical, iconic Sauron’s eye that’s graced towels, underwear, mugs, duvet covers and novelty talking inflatable David Tennant sex dolls for four years… replaced with a rather utilitarian concrete tower block of a logo. A logo for a recession hit era. Nothing showy. Does what it says on the tin:

The theme tune and opening sequence has changed too. It’s still goes “doo doo doo, doo doo doo (diddly doo diddly doo diddly doo diddly doo) doo DOO, doo doo DOO doo doo doo…” however, the bass line is heavier and it’s all a tad over dramatic. Also, instead of tumbling through a flaming vortex of red-orange wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, the camera flies through a blue-tinged, storm filled tube. It’s a bit like watching a thundercloud have a colonoscopy.

But the biggest change so far has been the Grand Moff’s redesign of the Daleks. Wow. That gave me a bit of a shock as I hadn’t seen the alarmed jabbering of the tabloids on the subject. The Sun lead with REDESIGNED DALEKS LOOK LIKE TOYS SAY ANGRY DOCTOR WHO FANS. And while I don’t like to agree with anything the Sun says, I have to admit they do look rather Fisher Price-esque. When they were first revealed, I checked the channel as I thought I might have inadvertently switched to a Rainbow Brite episode from 1985.

New Daleks

But to be fair, the moment the new, chunkier, more vibrant Daleks opened their…I want to say mouth. Er, vocal region?… They sounded really mean. Their voices were deep, rasping, metallic and spooky, and the rainbow colour scheme just added to the menace. All in all, they were more unsettling than seeing a clown at a funeral. Their hunched backs looked a bit shit though:

They rejected my original design. Not hunchy enough.

But do you know what? I don’t care. At first I was mildly vexed that he was foisting so many changes on us. As I said to my long suffering ladyfriend: “It’s just TOO MUCH to take in! It’s bad enough that Doctor Who isn’t in Doctor Who anymore without having to deal with the Ikea Dårlik range.”  However, the excellent writing and great storylines have won me over.

The first episode “The Eleventh Hour” was brilliant. Stone cold, knock me over with a sonic screwdriver BRILLIANT. Sophie from Peep Show with eel teeth? Terrifying. The Doctor saying ‘you’re Scottish. Fry something!’ to the kid who’s trying in vain to find a food to suit the new Doc’s recently regenerated palate? Hilarious. Seriously, if Steve-o carries on scripting such excellent episodes, he could change the title of the series to Doctor Moff, cast himself in the lead role and put all of the supporting characters in parrot costumes and I’d still watch it.

I just saw Time of the Angels, the latest installment. It was scarier than the decayed, twisted picture of Richard Madeley that Judy keeps in their attic. I was thrilled to see the Weeping Angels again (which in my opinion are scarier than the Daleks. Even more so now that the latter look a bit like novelty neon pencil top erasers)

I should have done that art degree. Srsly. I'm amazing

A shadowy underground alien city filled with crumbling, skeletal statues. What’s not to love? The only thing that slightly vexes me is Matt Smith’s constant overenunciation and elongated, elaborate vowels, as if a teacher once told him to Speak More Clearly and then hammered his tongue flat with a copy of War and Peace. But it’s a minor gripe and I’m sure if I can get used to Gay Pride Daleks I can put up with that.

In conclusion, I can’t wait for the next exciting instalment of Timey Doccy Moffy WooWho.


About Hilary Wardle
Hilary is a freelance journalist and copywriter who writes for a wide range of websites, magazines and newspapers, including Buzzfeed, MSN, The Poke, Chortle, the Guardian and the Independent. She specialises in arts and entertainment, comedy, video games and viral content. Contact her at

3 Responses to Doctor Moff

  1. Mads says:

    Grand Moff. Heehee.

    I found a Rainbow Brite DVD today in a box of guff (along with 2 x Phil Collins vids and an as-yet unopened DVD gem entitled Ninja Assassin, feat. a pic of a hard-ass bloke seemingly wearing a blonde bob wig).

    That is all. I heart Doccy Oooh.

  2. Craig says:

    Yep, The Eleventh Hour was fantatic. Yep, The Time of Angels is fantastic. Note you glossed over the other two episodes (apart from the Mighty Morphin’ Power Daleks) because they were a bit on the undergarment side.

    But, yes, I heart Doccy Oooh too. And Karen Gillan is just gorgeous.

    BTW. Your retrospective in the Tate Modern is a sure fire thing…

  3. Pingback: Doctor Who Series 5 GRAPH « Tellysquawks

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