Worst boss ever

I’m currently supervising a very unfortunate temp at the moment. I say ‘unfortunate’, as it’s really no fun if your boss shows up for work looking exhausted, is unable to speak before her third coffee, and punctuates any attempt to explain even the most basic process with ‘I’m totally crap, I know, I’m so useless, my brain’s total mush today. I’m sorry, I’m not making any sense.’ It doesn’t help that she’s great,  more intelligent than me, from New Zealand and a talented actress who has been on the TV and suchlike. I feel like a total spoon.

I’m more indecisive than Noorul from the Apprentice. When she asks me to make a basic decision I um and ah so much I can imagine Nick behind me rolling his eyes, or Margaret tutting and taking notes. Things are pretty crapped up at work though, to be fair. They waited so long before permitting me to get a temp in that things piled up into a great teetering mountain of stuff, and then the piles sort of slipped and slid into each other, causing layers of confusion. They’ve just had a ‘restructure’, meaning that two people are now doing about the work of five. One of these two people, my immediate boss, went off on compassionate leave not long after the hatchet job. This means that for the last couple of months or so I’ve been left to implement the change, and I’m frankly not  that experienced.

Coordinating volunteers on a large scale is like herding cats into a valley from the top of a mountain using  a broken loudspeaker that completely distorts everything you say. And the highups want you to use sheepdogs to herd them around, however these sheepdogs are busy managers who won’t listen to a word you say and occasionally turn round and bite you.

Must go. I’m currently being herded BY a cat. She wants me to play fetch with her and wont take no for an answer…

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About Hilary Wardle
Hilary is a freelance journalist and copywriter who writes for a wide range of websites, magazines and newspapers, including Buzzfeed, MSN, The Poke, Chortle, the Guardian and the Independent. She specialises in arts and entertainment, comedy, video games and viral content. Contact her at Hilary3@gmail.com.

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